Revamp

What does it really take to bring about change in our lives? Even the best of goals or intentions seem to fall by the wayside when more pressing matters come into view. How can we have an eye single toward Him? This is a question not easily answered. We are human, we are constantly making mistakes, and we need the constant spiritual nourishment given to us by weekly church attendance and daily scripture study. But really, don’t you find that the same things you are trying to overcome are the same things that you have always been trying to overcome? I find that my list of goals rarely changes. They are not lofty, unrealistic goals, either. They are practical, useful goals that would make my life a heck of a lot easier. If I know this, and have known it for years, why have I not started doing what I know would be best for me? How does this change within really take place?

First, we certainly need the desire to change. Knowing that you need to change is whole lot different than wanting to do so.

Next, we need to be willing to sacrifice whatever is necessary to accomplish the goal. So often our little vices give us comfort or make our paths easier (in the short-term). This is a tough one to overcome because it’s hard to get out of a routine that you have been settled into your whole life.

I think that contemplating why you are making this change will help you to keep your mind on the goal. Even if it is something you have been trying to change for a really long time, I think that focusing on the thought of a better you will help to keep you working toward (and not running away from) those resolutions.

Remember remember remember! How many times does it say this in the scriptures? I love making lists. I could make lists all day and never get bored. To do lists, schedules, directories, places I have lived, places I have traveled, birthday lists. You name it, I have made a list for it. In your daily to do list, add on that thing that you need to change. In addition to this, I like to deprive myself of something I love until I have accomplished the goal for that day. For example, no eating until you read your scriptures. Quite often that is a great incentive for me.

Get your friends/roommates/family in on the fun. It’s so much easier to accomplish goals when you have other people encouraging you and focusing on goals of their own.

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of having the same goals for the past 18 years. Today I am creating a list of my goals, putting rocks on my pillow, leaving notes around the house, and writing this blog post to recommit myself to becoming the person I want to and know I can be.

“Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.”

Listen here.
This song is so beautiful.

So is this poem. It’s one of my favorites.

'Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile: "What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?"
"A dollar, a dollar"; then, "Two!" "Only two?
Two dollars, and who'll make it three?
Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three—" But no,
From the room, far back, a gray-haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said, "What am I bid for the old violin?"
And he held it up with the bow.
"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?
Two thousand! And who'll make it three?
Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice,
And going, and gone!" said he.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,
"We do not quite understand
What changed its worth." Swift came the reply:
"The touch of a master's hand."

And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine,
A game—and he travels on.
He's "going" once, and "going" twice,
He's "going" and almost "gone."
But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the change that's wrought
By the touch of the Master's hand.

With the touch of the Master’s hand, we can do anything. Change is possible.

Sink or Swim

I can't tell you how many times this phrase has been quoted to me, or how many times I have said it myself this past week. Sink or swim. As I get myself and my class more into a routine, I feel like I'm getting the hang of this whole teaching thing. In my last post, when I said that teaching is a roller coaster, that is not an overstatement. Some days are diamonds and some days are stones, and you NEVER know which one it's going to be no matter how much you have planned or how the day starts off. It's this crazy phenomenon called twenty-eight 10/11 year olds in one classroom for 7 hours. That is the official name.

After the first day of class, I was doing everything I could just to keep my head above water. Today, after seven full days with my students (it feels like seven years, not seven days), one field trip in which all the children survived, numerous training meetings, phone calls with parents, a stack of papers to grade, and the never-ending task of teaching/entertaining/taking care of 28 children for the perpetual tomorrows, I'm swimmin' baby.

Don't worry. Even though today was one of the brightest and shiniest and best cut diamonds that I have ever seen, I know that tomorrow could be an ugly, jagged stone. But it's ok. I like stones, too. I'm not too pompous in thinking that I can take the good without the bad. But one thing's for sure. I'm going to keep swimming.

Miss H's Got…Her Hands Full…

This week has been a roller coaster…and I hear that it will continue to be like this. My first day was good, but overwhelming. I mean, such a little part of my job is actually teaching. I worry about whether my kids are getting along…I'm a counselor, first-aid giver, mother, referee, organizer, among other things. Teaching is the easy part. It's not only planning tomorrow and the next day, it's planning out the week and the month and the year…in 5 subjects. It's planning homework and big projects, and then grading them all. It's knowing at what level your students are and helping them achieve a level that the state thinks is adequate. It's making sure your classroom is clean, that everyone is doing their job, that they are motivated and learning. I feel like I have just adopted 28 children.

All of these things were going through my mind the first day. The school day in itself went well, but all these thoughts came flooding in afterward. These thoughts are, of course still with me, but I have realized that (for the most part) I just need to take everything one day at a time. I love my students and have a great group. Of course there are always the few that you need to particularly watch out for, but the year has started off well. We are earning behavior points to get a fish tank in our classroom. The children are sooooo excited, and so am I.

All in all, I am so grateful to be a teacher. I knew of the pressure that was going to be placed upon me, but I didn't quite realize the magnitude of this feeling until Tuesday. I know that I am here for a reason, and at the end of the day, I know that I am impacting these children for good. Sometimes I wonder what I've gotten myself into…but then I remember that I know exactly why I'm here.

Some people have been wondering how my French immersion school works. Well, our school participates in both the FLES and Immersion Programs. Half of the school is in an immersion situation (where their math and science classes are taught in French). The other half of the school participates in the Foreign Language in the Elementary School program (FLES), where the students receive French Instruction twice weekly, but other than that it is just like any other school. My students participate in the FLES program. I have not yet taken the test (Praxis II) that allows me to teach in a foreign language. It's hard enough to teach in english, plus I don't know all of the technical math and science terms in French. Right now this is an ideal situation for me. A quarter of the staff at Kent Gardens is from a French speaking country, and another quarter are Americans who speak French fluently. So, I speak French with half of my colleagues and it is so much fun. I am surrounded by French culture and people. The hallways are named after famous Parisian tourist sites, and we have French vocabulary placed all over our classrooms. There are Eiffel Tower statues and all of the official school signs are in both English and French! Quelle chance! Je pense que j'aime bien mon travail. A la prochaine!