Repeat the Sounding Joy

As I lie awake thinking about life, the phrase that keeps running through my head is, "repeat the sounding joy." I know, I know…it's not Christmas yet…but there's something about that phrase, and that sentiment, that gets me every time.

Repeat the sounding joy. Life is hard, I'll give you that. But how much has the Lord blessed us? We all have trials, hard things to deal with, challenges that we face every day. Every single human being struggles with disappointment, frustration, embarrassment…the list goes on and on. If we choose to write a "life's not fair list," none of us would have a shortage of things to write. That's just it: life isn't fair. And the ironic part about it is that we knew that coming down here. When we focus on the negative, we see the negative.

I remember, way back when, when I first began as an assistant teacher in the Elementary Education program at BYU, I was being observed by my supervisor one day. All of my little second graders were sitting on the rug in front of me and I was reading a book to them. Some boys in the back kept whispering, fooling around, spinning on their bottoms, etc. I started pausing and saying comments like, "make sure that you're sitting on your pockets," "please stay on the rug," or "don't do x, y, z…" The lesson generally went well, but the comment from my supervisor was, "don't point out the negative, point out the positive. If you're looking for the negative, you're going to find it, and you're going to drive yourself crazy. Point out the positive and more than likely, things will fall in line." First of all, let me just say that this principle has saved me in teaching. It is so true that if you're looking for the negative, you're going to find it. A more appropriate comment in the aforementioned situation would have been directed towards a student who was obeying the rules, "Billy, I love how you're sitting up straight, criss cross apple sauce, and how you're listening to the story. Oh and look…(choosing the student right next to the troubled one…) Jill, thank you for doing just what you're supposed to be doing." 9 times out of 10 those one or two students who are horsing around will stop. Looking for the positive instead of the negative changes and molds our whole outlook on life.

So…back to the positive. We are so blessed. The other day as I was trying to accomplish my ward calling, I found myself sitting, alone, in the chapel of our ward building. This building is of high significance to me. Not only is it impressive in it's architecture and uniqueness, but it has been my ward building for my whole life. That is where I sat with my family (generally in the same pew), where I sang up front in primary, where I was a reverence child, where I recited my article of faith in front of the ward when I graduated from primary, where I have spoken and played the violin countless times, where many of my most dear and treasured memories were made. My home ward consists of the most amazing group of people that I have ever known. We are family. Many of them have become my second/third/fourth mother and father, and they have played a huge role in who I am today. Sitting in this chapel, I realized a few things. The Lord loves me. Ok, so I already knew that, but it was reaffirmed. Secondly, I am blessed. We all know that I have trouble with endings (example: end of college). I was afraid of the unknown. I would never have dreamed that my life would have taken the course that it did (although I had hoped for something like this). I moved back home (always the plan) to a place I love, I got a job teaching at one of my top three schools, I have met someone extra special who I hope to spend a very long time with, and now I find myself back in my beloved ward building…back where I started from. It makes me smile just thinking about it.

At institute this week our teacher started off the class by asking if any of us had experienced any tender mercies the past week. It took about 2 minutes for anyone to raise their hand. I must admit that I was actually having trouble thinking of one, myself…then, one came to mind. Then, all of a sudden, a whole barrage of tender mercies began to come to mind. The Lord had really blessed me the past week and because I had chosen not to think about it, I had not recognized them. Once I focused on the positive, more of the positive came into view. "We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance," Elder Bednar.

No matter where we are in life, no matter the level or circumstance or age…the Lord blesses us. He loves us and He is here for us. He sends his tender mercies to comfort us. He sends people to comfort us, and He sends the spirit to be with us. Sometimes it takes a little more effort to see the good, but in the end, that's what it's all about.

Halloween

My kids have been antsy all week. They would literally sit in their seats just shaking up and down with huge grins on their faces. When I asked them what the deal was, they all would raise their voices to more than the "inside voice" level and say, "IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEEEEN!" Needless to say, I was a little worried about how this day was going to unfold. This is what I imagined...28 uncontrollable ten-year olds all hopped up on crack cocaine (aka candy).

It all ended up being a success = a fun day for everyone. I got slightly nervous when my room parents didn't show up to run the party, but I improvised until they arrived. I really love my kids. I love seeing them in different situations. I love to see their emerging talents and their interests. Not every student loves school as much as I did when I was growing up. Each of my students is different and I love getting to know each of their personalities and strengths, as well as helping them out with their weaknesses.

I really love being a teacher. Every day is a new adventure. Teaching is hard work, and the children are not always pleasant or grateful…but that feeling you get when you reach a child, or when they finally understand a concept is utterly priceless. Every day presents a challenge to help both me and my students learn and grow.

For the record…these are my favorite trick-or-treaters…

and this is my favorite HAMBONE…starring as Indiana Jones.

Casey P

My life has changed a little bit since I last wrote on my blog. I used to wonder when...I used to wonder how...and now I wonder how I got so lucky. And by lucky, I really mean blessed.

Literally every waking moment and some sleeping ones (since September 19th and excluding work) have been spent with a young man named Casey P. Casey is the cheese to my macaroni. A lame metaphor, I know, but it is so true. We complement each other so well. I must admit that I have been experiencing that, "can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of thing."

Everything we do is an adventure, no matter how great or small. Things are just fun with Case. He takes good care of me, too. He is a dedicated, hard worker and a team player. He is so great with kids. It makes me smile every day when we play with his nieces and nephews. A few weeks ago we both got out our "Bucket Lists" and shared those special things that we want to do before we die. No joke, the first 13 on his list were identical to mine. 'Ironic? Don'tcha think? It's like RAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...' Just kidding.

Did I mention that he lives one block away from where I work? Did I mention that we both graduated in April '08? Did I mention that we both love DC and want to live here? We go down to the monuments at least once a week. Life is good.

With all that said, now Case is leaving me for three weeks as he goes on a business trip!! "Three weeks, Casey, three weeks?!" Three-fourths of the time that I have known him, I have to be away from him, now! At least I will be able to be a good friend again (sorry, everyone, that I've been so lame), and I'll have tons of time to get ready for parent-teacher conferences and report cards. (JOY).

Welcome to Allie & Casey.

Love you, babe.


At the Capitals vs. Canucks Game! We won!


British Car Day! Fall is GORGEOUS here!


Hangin' out at the cabin.


Searching for pumpkins in the pumpkin patch.

Revamp

What does it really take to bring about change in our lives? Even the best of goals or intentions seem to fall by the wayside when more pressing matters come into view. How can we have an eye single toward Him? This is a question not easily answered. We are human, we are constantly making mistakes, and we need the constant spiritual nourishment given to us by weekly church attendance and daily scripture study. But really, don’t you find that the same things you are trying to overcome are the same things that you have always been trying to overcome? I find that my list of goals rarely changes. They are not lofty, unrealistic goals, either. They are practical, useful goals that would make my life a heck of a lot easier. If I know this, and have known it for years, why have I not started doing what I know would be best for me? How does this change within really take place?

First, we certainly need the desire to change. Knowing that you need to change is whole lot different than wanting to do so.

Next, we need to be willing to sacrifice whatever is necessary to accomplish the goal. So often our little vices give us comfort or make our paths easier (in the short-term). This is a tough one to overcome because it’s hard to get out of a routine that you have been settled into your whole life.

I think that contemplating why you are making this change will help you to keep your mind on the goal. Even if it is something you have been trying to change for a really long time, I think that focusing on the thought of a better you will help to keep you working toward (and not running away from) those resolutions.

Remember remember remember! How many times does it say this in the scriptures? I love making lists. I could make lists all day and never get bored. To do lists, schedules, directories, places I have lived, places I have traveled, birthday lists. You name it, I have made a list for it. In your daily to do list, add on that thing that you need to change. In addition to this, I like to deprive myself of something I love until I have accomplished the goal for that day. For example, no eating until you read your scriptures. Quite often that is a great incentive for me.

Get your friends/roommates/family in on the fun. It’s so much easier to accomplish goals when you have other people encouraging you and focusing on goals of their own.

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of having the same goals for the past 18 years. Today I am creating a list of my goals, putting rocks on my pillow, leaving notes around the house, and writing this blog post to recommit myself to becoming the person I want to and know I can be.

“Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.”

Listen here.
This song is so beautiful.

So is this poem. It’s one of my favorites.

'Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile: "What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?"
"A dollar, a dollar"; then, "Two!" "Only two?
Two dollars, and who'll make it three?
Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three—" But no,
From the room, far back, a gray-haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said, "What am I bid for the old violin?"
And he held it up with the bow.
"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?
Two thousand! And who'll make it three?
Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice,
And going, and gone!" said he.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,
"We do not quite understand
What changed its worth." Swift came the reply:
"The touch of a master's hand."

And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine,
A game—and he travels on.
He's "going" once, and "going" twice,
He's "going" and almost "gone."
But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the change that's wrought
By the touch of the Master's hand.

With the touch of the Master’s hand, we can do anything. Change is possible.

Sink or Swim

I can't tell you how many times this phrase has been quoted to me, or how many times I have said it myself this past week. Sink or swim. As I get myself and my class more into a routine, I feel like I'm getting the hang of this whole teaching thing. In my last post, when I said that teaching is a roller coaster, that is not an overstatement. Some days are diamonds and some days are stones, and you NEVER know which one it's going to be no matter how much you have planned or how the day starts off. It's this crazy phenomenon called twenty-eight 10/11 year olds in one classroom for 7 hours. That is the official name.

After the first day of class, I was doing everything I could just to keep my head above water. Today, after seven full days with my students (it feels like seven years, not seven days), one field trip in which all the children survived, numerous training meetings, phone calls with parents, a stack of papers to grade, and the never-ending task of teaching/entertaining/taking care of 28 children for the perpetual tomorrows, I'm swimmin' baby.

Don't worry. Even though today was one of the brightest and shiniest and best cut diamonds that I have ever seen, I know that tomorrow could be an ugly, jagged stone. But it's ok. I like stones, too. I'm not too pompous in thinking that I can take the good without the bad. But one thing's for sure. I'm going to keep swimming.

Miss H's Got…Her Hands Full…

This week has been a roller coaster…and I hear that it will continue to be like this. My first day was good, but overwhelming. I mean, such a little part of my job is actually teaching. I worry about whether my kids are getting along…I'm a counselor, first-aid giver, mother, referee, organizer, among other things. Teaching is the easy part. It's not only planning tomorrow and the next day, it's planning out the week and the month and the year…in 5 subjects. It's planning homework and big projects, and then grading them all. It's knowing at what level your students are and helping them achieve a level that the state thinks is adequate. It's making sure your classroom is clean, that everyone is doing their job, that they are motivated and learning. I feel like I have just adopted 28 children.

All of these things were going through my mind the first day. The school day in itself went well, but all these thoughts came flooding in afterward. These thoughts are, of course still with me, but I have realized that (for the most part) I just need to take everything one day at a time. I love my students and have a great group. Of course there are always the few that you need to particularly watch out for, but the year has started off well. We are earning behavior points to get a fish tank in our classroom. The children are sooooo excited, and so am I.

All in all, I am so grateful to be a teacher. I knew of the pressure that was going to be placed upon me, but I didn't quite realize the magnitude of this feeling until Tuesday. I know that I am here for a reason, and at the end of the day, I know that I am impacting these children for good. Sometimes I wonder what I've gotten myself into…but then I remember that I know exactly why I'm here.

Some people have been wondering how my French immersion school works. Well, our school participates in both the FLES and Immersion Programs. Half of the school is in an immersion situation (where their math and science classes are taught in French). The other half of the school participates in the Foreign Language in the Elementary School program (FLES), where the students receive French Instruction twice weekly, but other than that it is just like any other school. My students participate in the FLES program. I have not yet taken the test (Praxis II) that allows me to teach in a foreign language. It's hard enough to teach in english, plus I don't know all of the technical math and science terms in French. Right now this is an ideal situation for me. A quarter of the staff at Kent Gardens is from a French speaking country, and another quarter are Americans who speak French fluently. So, I speak French with half of my colleagues and it is so much fun. I am surrounded by French culture and people. The hallways are named after famous Parisian tourist sites, and we have French vocabulary placed all over our classrooms. There are Eiffel Tower statues and all of the official school signs are in both English and French! Quelle chance! Je pense que j'aime bien mon travail. A la prochaine!

Miss H's Got Class

This year has brought many changes, adventures, exciting events, travels, endings, beginnings, and oh so much more. The newest beginning I would like to announce is my role as 5th Grade Teacher at Kent Gardens Elementary School! This job was offered to me only a week ago so there is a little anxiety here, but enough excitement to cover it! I'm teaching at a French Immersion School, and even though I'm not one of the immersion teachers, I will definitely find a way to use my French in the classroom.

I just watched the movie "Sweet Home Alabama" the other day, and I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes. "'It's funny how things don't work out.' 'It's funny how they do.'" If I made a laundry list of things that I have planned on or wished for or thought were going to happen, that didn't, the list would be overwhelming. But, sitting back and looking at the path my life has taken, I have no other explanation and no other feelings other than gratitude for the hand of the Lord in my life. As much as I miss you or know that some of my most amazing plans were just never meant to be, I am happy to have the feeling of peace that I'm where I'm supposed to be.

I hope that you enjoy these pictures from my classroom. I stayed at work until 7pm every night in order to get everything ready for the open house which was friday (8/29). I hope that you especially like my map on the wall…it is my grandest creation…